We buried my faithful friend and companion of 11 years last week -- here she was on our last road trip, fully in love with something new, the ocean air:
I've been wondering why I was so filled with grief at Tasha's passing -- sadness beyond any I've experienced. I follow the news, I watch and listen to the anguish of people stricken by war and natural disasters; tear up at romantic tragedies and the loss of loved ones to health issues or age or an infinite number of other ways to die. I cried when my father died and I'll cry a lot more for any of the rest of my family that beat me to the great beyond, but I don't think anything will match the sadness I've just experienced. Why?
Part of the answer I come up with is pretty obvious to pet owners, perhaps to dog owners more particularly (nothing against cats, I love them too). Dogs are eagerly interested in their world. Every new or renewed trace of life is sniff-worthy, something to be continually stimulated by. Not unlike the very young and the very young at heart, they constantly remind us of the potential newness of things, the joy of taking a closer look at mundane things that turn out to be not so mundane upon further review. But unlike humans, dogs are not likely to be trained out of their infinite curiosity... I will attempt to continue to marvel at the world as Tasha would constantly remind me to do on our daily mountain hikes.
Tasha had a pretty unique social radar, she could sense tenseness between humans with a startling accuracy, particularly in the human voice. From sarcasm to anger, words uttered thusly were a signal for Tasha to hide under the legs of the calmest person in the room, or lacking that, to flee. The effect was remarkable: our family learned to discuss issues rather than resorting to talking at one another. I know, it seems preposterous that an animal could inspire such a social change, but it was so.....
.....so honest. There's one thing I value in humans, above all other things, and that's honesty. Being honest does not mean always doing the right thing -- face it, we humans are an impetuous lot and we frequently have conflicting or incomplete thought processes buzzing around a various levels of awareness. These half-baked thoughts and conflicting thoughts are acted out in sometimes strange and sometimes unpredictable, but always human, ways.
And then most of us look at the results of our actions and shy away from our humanity. It's not perfect, it's messy, it's, what? What the hell is it? Is anybody watching? Let the rationalizations begin. Let the half-truths and the fabrications begin. Run away! Run away!
It's damn difficult to look at oneself without either hiding or beating oneself up. But dogs have no guile; when they've given in to their baser nature, they have the decency to look guilty and acknowledge their indiscretions without actually disavowing their nature. Our Tasha asked only for some kindness and returned simplicity with simplicity. Warmth for warmth, love for love.
I miss that daily honesty, and Tasha's simple but profound reminders on a life well lived. Would that we could have Republican candidates half as wise. At least, and that's a huge at least, we can thank goodness for Obama's curiosity and integrity even as we nit-pick the particulars.
peace